A Little Africa at the Library

Tuesdays are library day for us and our little local library's summer reading program is "Around the World." Today, we went to Africa. I must admit, I was super excited about this probably even more than Toby and Addie. We had a beautiful woman LaVelle come speak, sing, dance and engage the kids. She is from the Congo and is part of an African Dance Troupe. She also owns an amazing Italian restaurant, but I digress. It was so much fun watching her as she explained her instruments and ceremonies. If I had this blogging thing down, I would have thought to bring my camera. Unfortunately, Toby had lost his little plastic bluebird and was so distraught he couldn't participate and Addie was so busy trying to help Toby that she was preoccupied as well - oh well, maybe next time After it was over, I went to talk with her to let her know I would be in Africa next week - yes people, next week! We talked about the adoption and about Ethiopia. She has many Ethiopian friends and is in complete agreement that they are the most beautiful people in the world. I was also able to ask her about hair care which I am incredibly nervous about. All this to say that today's meeting was an answer to prayer.

We live in a very, very rural area without much diversity. I want my children to have relationships with people who look like them. I don't want to pretend race doesn't matter. I wish it didn't, but it does. I grew up in El Paso, Texas which is on the border of Mexico. In certain circumstances I was the minority. I had racial slurs used against me and I didn't like it. I didn't truly believe white people were racist until I moved to Waco, Texas for college. Talk about a change in perspective. I have a lot to learn in this area about things way more important than hair care, but I want to learn. I want my children to know that their feelings are important to me. I don't want them to feel isolated. I know I won't be able to protect them from everything, but I will be there to walk with them through it. And today I made a new friend who can probably teach me a lot.

The time has come.....

At 5:45am yesterday morning our phone rang. Instead of jumping out of bed to get it, I sat up in anticipation and told Jeff to get it. I knew it would be our case worker. As Jeff talked to him, he gave me a big thumbs up and said "That is really good news." I ran down stairs to get the computer and checked for the email from the embassy. After choosing 3 possible dates for our embassy interview I sent off the reply. It was nearing the end of business day in Addis but they did send back confirmation that our embassy date is July 11!! My mind was racing and so was my heart. After 27 months of working towards this and almost 4 months to the day from meeting them, our children will be in our arms.

I will admit that I do not understand God's timing - we are in the middle of fire season so Jeff is not sure how much time he will have when we return home, plane tickets are double what we paid in March and our children have continued to grow apart from us. But what I do know is that I have learned so much in the unknown, with each delay, through the frustration and tears. I have had to trust and through it all my love for Kaleb and Emnet has grown, my prayers for them have been fervent and I have experienced God's sufficient grace. When you are pregnant with a child, you long for them. As they grow inside you and you feel each kick, you pray for them. They waiting, although painful, has created a longing for these two children that I am so thankful for.

I know this is only the beginning and I am under no pretense that things will be all joy filled when we return home. Adoption is born out of pain and loss. Although beautiful, it is heartbreaking and messy. Like in pregnancy when you near the end, you are so ready. You understand (especially after the first child ) that there will be pain, there will be sleepless nights and things will be hard, but you are ready for the new hard. This is how I feel. I am ready for the new hard and all the wonderful things that will come with it.

I can't wait to be looking at one of these again!

An Amazing Daddy

Just thought I would share a little bit about why Jeff is an amazing Dad and we all love him so much. Jeff's Dad passed away when he was 7 years old and my Dad passed away when I was 4 years old. Given these parts of our story, neither of us had many experiences to show us what a father looked like. I think that is part of what has made each step of Jeff becoming a father and parenting his children so special for both of us. I said this in my first post but it is worth repeating. Jeff loves his children fiercely. It goes beyond any other earthly love. He challenges and encourages them. He teaches Toby what it means to be a man and both of them what it means to love Jesus. More than anything else, he plays with Toby and Addie. Whether it be legos or tickle duck, dance parties or popcorn parties, he makes being part of our family fun. Kaleb and Emnet have never experienced the love of a father and I am so grateful they will experience it with Jeff because he is a wonderful daddy. I could go on but instead, I will share a few of my favorite photos.

Adoption update: Emnet's birth mother did appear at the embassy today, however, the embassy decided they needed an independent translator, so the interview was rescheduled for tomorrow - boo. Hopefully I will have more information tomorrow.

And we wait...

Our adoption has been anything but smooth and I am in complete agreement with others who have reminded me that adoption in not for the faint of heart. We have heard more than once, "well, that is new" or "we have never experienced this before." These are not statements you want to hear during your adoption. I also know that God called us to adopt and we are glad. Our biggest blow came last Friday. After waiting weeks and weeks for birth certificates, weeks for passports and still weeks to be submitted to the embassy, we finally "got submitted" on May 31. We had been told things were moving fairly quickly for the embassy and we were hopeful to hear quickly that we were clear to travel. The words we have been waiting 3 months to hear. We did receive an email from the embassy on Friday morning June 10 but it was not the one I was hoping for. Instead, it requested a meeting with Emnet's birth mother in order to prevent a further field investigation. What? What is this? Why? Then the tears came. I must say, although I have had many ups and downs, my tears had been reserved for one day in Ethiopia until now. Questions flooded my mind along with doubts. What if they couldn't find her birth mother, what if she refused and what if something is really wrong. Ethiopia has already declared her our child, so what would this mean? Could Emnet be a child with no family or country? Heartbreak. We spoke to our case worker who said the words I didn't want to hear, "this has never happened before." He also assured me that they would work to resolve this quickly. My heart was also breaking for Emnet's birth mother. She already gave up her daughter and told her story and now she was going to have to do it again. It isn't like they could call her up and ask her to appear before the embassy. They would need to travel 5 hours to a village with a translator to try and find her and if she agreed, set up a time with the embassy. Here is a praise....they did. We got a call Monday morning that she had been found and an appointment has been made with the embassy for next Monday June 20. When we were traveling to Ethiopia to meet our children the news had just been released that there was a slow down in the processing of adoptions. Again fear and doubt filled me. On the plane I was reading in Romans 4 where Paul recounts Abraham and Sarah waiting to become parents and it says Abraham "hoped against hope." This delay does not make sense to me, but my doubt shows my lack of trust in a sovereign God. Galatians 6:9 says "Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." It is the "proper time" I am having trouble with, but God is faithful and He is good and He loves me and Emnet and her birth mother far more than I can imagine. Please pray for these precious children my heart is longing for.

Ement's dress was on backwards, so funny

Kaleb's bed at Tikuret

Meeting Our Children

The morning of March 9 we woke up in Ethiopia full of anticipation. I was nervous and excited and ready. We picked up a few more families and then headed to Tikuret, the orphanage our children have been at since last summer. We were with our now good friends Clint and Amanda from Minnesota who would also be meeting their children for the first time. What a blessing it was to share this moment with another family.

As the gates of Tikuret opened and we pulled in, I think I spied Kaleb washing his hands. We were brought into the room I had seen in others photos and we waited. It was decided that our children would come first since they were older while Clint and Amanda took pictures and video for us. Then they came down the stairs. Emnet was beaming and Kaleb was hesitant. It is a moment which is so difficult to describe and yet I believe anyone who has adopted can relate perfectly. Kaleb gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek which I am pretty sure he was told to do, but it was so precious to me. The next two pictures say a lot our about our boy, and I love them. They were taken minutes apart.

We gave them the picture albums I had made and went through all the pictures with them. Neither Kaleb nor Ement set their books down during our time there. Every time Emnet came to a picture of Wingnut, our dog, she said Woosha (Amharic for dog) then hit the picture. That might be an interesting relationship. We brought out the balloons which were a huge hit and we played. Emnet didn't stop moving or smiling although she did give Jeff some sass which I must admit was kind of cute. I will probably feel much differently about that after she is home. Kaleb was fascinated with the I-pod and loved taking pictures with our camera. He said very little during our first visit, but was definitely more comfortable with us towards the end. One of the most special moments for me was feeding Ement and sitting with her as she relaxed into my arms and almost fell asleep.

After a lot of playing and tyring to take in every moment, the drivers came. We knew we would see them again in a couple of days but leaving was hard. It was especially hard on Jeff and Kaleb. And now three months have passed and my heart aches to hold them again, to hug them again, to know them as my children.

Now or Never

So, I have been talking about blogging for the past two years and I feel like it is now or never. Why now? Well, to be honest our adoption journey has been crazy and although I am a little sad I don't have record of every up and down we have experienced during this process, part of me is ok with it. I do, however, want to document bringing our kids home and how God continues to grow us as a family.

So, who are we if you don't know us and my guess is most of you know us.

-Jeff - amazing husband who challenges me daily, loves his children fiercely, has had a desire to adopt since before we were married, supervises a helicopter fire crew for the forest service, loves to fish and any type of adventure

-Jill - loves Jesus, her children, reading, singing and now Ethiopia, counselor turned stay-at-home mom, looking forward to where God is leading our family

-Toby - 6 years old, inquisitive, creative, dramatic boy, he has an amazing mind that humbles me

-Adelaide - 4 years old, silly, sweet, sensitive with definite opinions about the world around her, she is my joy

Our newest family members who will hopefully be joining us very soon.

Kaleb - 4 years old, shy, sweet with a smile that melts my heart

Emnet - 4 years old very energetic, smart, lights up the room

Our adoption journey in a nutshell.

We applied to adopt 2 children from Ethiopia in March 2009. Our dossier took an entire year to complete for various reasons including having to legally change Jeff's name to his name so we could get a new birth certificate for him. We had our paperwork authenticated 3 times in Sacramento and we had to redo at least half of our paperwork because our notary expired even though she was current when she notarized everything. Oh the joys of paperchasing. Our dossier finally made it to Ethiopia March 2010 and the wait began. We received a referral for a 4 year old boy and a 3 year old girl on November 11, 2010 on a day when both our phone and internet were not working. We had to get further information due to some medical concerns before accepting the referral so we did not have the immediate, these are my children experience, but I am thankful that we were able to pray about the decision. After we got the information we needed we were able to accept with a confidence and a longing for these two children. We left for Ethiopia on March 6, 2011 for our court date of March 11. Do you see the March pattern? We met Kaleb and Emnet on March 9 and the experience was precious. I will blog more about that later. We did not pass court on the 11th as was expected at that time given that Ethiopia had just announced a slow down in the process, but to our surprise we got a call on March 22 that they were ours. Here is where the especially hard wait has come. We still do not have our children home. For some reason it took until May 18 to get the kids birth certificates and we finally got submitted to the Embassy last week. So, here we are praying we will get cleared to travel very soon.

I did it - my first post! I have been so encouraged by reading blogs during this time, although they have also driven me a bit crazy at times, that I am looking forward to brushing up on my writing skills, hopefully improving some of my computer skills and sharing what I am learning.